well, back to this morning. i went to bed a little earlier last night. i've had this habit of staying up late but my parents are coming to visit soon. i need to get myself back to going to bed at a decent hour so i can have lots of energy for them. i was just about to go to sleep and i thought, oh, my gosh i'm going to bed early, i should get up early and go see those flowers! so i turned on my alarm to 8.30 and put on a recording of after the quake because listening to something helps me fall asleep. the recording was not that great to begin with because his books are reading books, not listening books. but i put it on anyway.
-----to make matters worse-----
i happened to wake up around 4:30 in the morning, the recording was still going:
'...and in the light, i grappled with a monstrous worm. he coiled himself around me and bathes me in his horrid slime. i tore him to shreds but still he refused to die. all he did was divide into smaller pieces. and then...' frog fell silent. but soon, as if dredging up his last ounce of strength, he began to speak again. 'fyodor dostoevky, with unparalleled tenderness, depicted those who had been forsaken by god. he discovered the precious quality of human existence in the ghastly paradox whereby men, who had invented god, were forsaken by that very god. fighting with worm in the darkness, i found myself thinking of dostoevsky's white nights. i...' frog's words seemed to founder. 'mister katagiri, do you mind if i take a brief nap? i'm utterly exhausted.'
i was exhausted, too, at that point, trying to go back to sleep, too lazy to shut my computer. plus i was a bit intrigued about the story, i figured i'd just lie there and fall back asleep while listening...
'please,' katagiri said. 'take a good, deep sleep.'
'i was finally unable to defeat worm,' frog said, closing his eyes. 'i did manage to stop the earthquake, but i was only able to carry our battle to a draw. i inflicted injury on him, and he on me. but to tell you the truth, mr. katagiri...'
'what is it, frog?'
'i am indeed pure frog, but at the same time i am a thing that stands for a world of un-frog.'
'mm...i dont get that at all.'
'neither do i,' frog said, his eyes still closed. 'its just a feeling i have. what you see with your eyes is not necessarily real. my enemy is, among other things, the me inside me. inside me is the un-me. my brain is growing muddy. the locomotive is coming. but i really want you to understand what i'm saying, mr. katagiri.'
'you're tired, frog. go to sleep, you'll get better.'
'i am slowly, slowly returning to the mud, mr. katagiri. and yet i...' frog lost his grasp on words and slipped into a coma. his arms hung down almost to the floor and his big wide mouth drooped open. straining to focus his eyes, katagiri was able to make out deep cuts covering frog's entire body. discolored streaks ran through his skin and there was a sunken spot on his head where the flesh would be torn away. katagiri stared long and hard at frog who sat there, now wrapped in the thick cloak of sleep. 'as soon as i get out of this hospital,' he thought, 'i'll buy anna karenina and white nights and read them both then i'll have a nice long literary discussion about them with frog.' before long, frog began to twitch all over. katagiri assumed at first that these were just normal involuntary movements in sleep. but he soon realized his mistake. there was something unnatural about the way frog's body went on jerking, like a big doll being shaken by someone from behind. katagiri held his breath and watched. he wanted to run over to frog, but his own body remained paralyzed. after a while, a big lump formed over frog's right eye. the same kind of huge, ugly boil broke out on frog's shoulder and side, and then over his whole body. katagiri could not imagine what was happening to frog. he stared at the spectacle, barely breathing. then, all of a sudden, one of the boils burst with a loud pop. the skin flew off and a sticky liquid oozed out, sending a horrible smell across the room. the rest of the boils started popping, one after another, 20 or 30 in all, flinging skin and fluid onto the walls. the sickening, unbearable smell filled the hospital room. big black holes were left on frog's body where the boils had burst, and wriggling, maggot-like worms of all shapes and sizes came crawling out. puffy, white maggots. after them emerged some kind of small centipede-like creatures whose hundreds of legs made a creepy rustling sound. an endless stream of these things came crawling out of the holes..."
UMMM FUCK RUIN MY SLEEP WHY DON'T YOU
'really haruki, really? really right now?!' i remember sleep-drunkenly saying out loud to myself. that forced me to roll over and shut my computer, then i tried to go back to sleep with awful, disgusting images in my brain.
----to make matters worse part two----
there are sounds outside my house. sometimes i really can't tell if they are coming from babies or cats. freaks me out. probably means i should never be a mother. i know that i am not schizo, the sounds are real. one time my mom was staying with me at my house in seattle and a cat/baby screamed fucking bloody murder outside the window and we were both startled from sleep, scared shitless. anyway, right after all this after the quake business, the cat/baby sounds started. after a long, futile attempt to ignore the sounds, my delicate sleep was too damaged to carry on.
i didn't end up getting any rest for when my parents come, BUT i spent a hell of a long time on the blossom island today because i got up at 6:00 am! so, now we've arrived at the point you should have all been waiting for. the ISLAND! first, start this video:
you can watch it for a little bit, it's kinda cool, but it's just 'colour palettes' flashing, so please do continue on after a bit. i just want you to hear the song i was listening to while walking through this place. (click to see bigger/better images)
early sun on the river
park entrance
still early sun but now on a building
teemple
here's what i came for!
more of it...
less blossoms on these tree than i'd like... but a nice hut anyway
great king sejong
oh wait hold up, lemme play with my camera for a second
just a few more seconds
set up for cherry blossom festival
pink
rest-taker
7-11's blossoms were especially pretty...
national assembly building
lion? tiger? bear?
dead, dead grass at ntl assembly
subway bench, line 9
i learned three lessons today:
1. don't listen to recordings of murakami books, especially when i am trying to sleep
2. cats and babies still sound the same to me, and they are really annoying, especially when i am trying to sleep
3. it is pleasantly rewarding to get up early (i already knew this, but it's nice to be reminded)
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